Today my mother is at my house visiting.  It’s strange because as a child my mother and I were the best frienemies around.  I loved her and hated her at the same time.  I could just never seem to do anything right with her and she always got it wrong with me.  Now that I am older and have a child of my own our relationship seems to exist on a different playing field.  We still never seem to agree on anything but it no longer matters because our goals are in tune.  She wants a happy grandchild and I a happy son.  It is through this that we have moved beyond love hate and into love.  She still tells me I am like my father who is a genius and self-motivated and kinda weird, but now I know that includes all the good parts of him too.  I don’t try to be perfect around her anymore either. She doesn’t pretend to have all the answers.  We have learned to accept each other for what the other is, imperfect perfectly.

I am the type of person that believes that paradoxes exist all around us.  I think you can have the best of times and the worst of times in the same second.  You can love and hate a person passionately and you can be happy and sad together. Peaceful noise a paradoxical possibility


~ by adjoapacheco on March 1, 2010.

6 Responses to “Mothers”

  1. I think a log of mother/daughter relationships are like this. I pray everday over my daughters and hope that the road to our adult relationship isn’t as rocky as mom & mines.

    • Onetia, I know it seems like the struggle between mother and daughter causes so much pain there is no way it could be worth it, but I found that just the ability to go rounds with my mother has strengthened me. Life is a struggle. Some think we should teach a child to be at peace and that is good to, however teaching me to fight for my beliefs and never take no for an answer well that has made a force to be reckoned with. I owe most of that force to my mom who was a force long before I was a whisper. From what I remember about you, you were too have a strong spirit.

  2. A very interesting post. I can certainly relate to much of what u say (apart from having a child) and I imagine many will, as mothers (either being one or having one) can be a struggle at times, but reward as well.

    • I am so glad you stopped by, I agree mothers are struggles and rewards. Thank you for giving me a new paradoxical term that sounds a lot better than love hate. please feel free to come back anytime

  3. MTV could spin off a whole seperate channel, with nothing but Mother-Daughter reality shows! That dynamic is more tricky than trying to navigate a healthcare bill thru congress!

    • Jermaine you have no idea. The minute you think you have figured it out is the minute it all changes. I truly thank heaven for my mom with all her differences she has taught me to be who I am and become more. Mothers are truly one of life’s most paradoxical components

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